An Introduction

Whether it be fantasy or reality or something dirty in between~

It is a reflection of me

And you.

Enjoy.

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Never Enough to be Pretty is all the change I have in my pocket- TL Banks

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Vaccination

Clear as a barn yard bell
Woke as a new born pup
Sick as a virgin under a spell
Loose as pennies in a cup
Done as the end of a scroll
Morbid as a clown is crazed
Dumb as a championship bowl
Attached like wings unfazed
I hear your loving blurbs
We both want them to ring true
Unfortunately  like milk curds
My penicillin hates you
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Bitches and Priests

Rubens painted pictures of fat chicks like me
but I can’t find my name on souvenir keys
Oh Lord hear my plea, beautify the fallacies of me
Whiskey tastes bad with ice, or Coke or anything
And all I know is all I know and what I know is there…
That I look better in the mirror, in a photograph, a suspect line
I see bustles, I see bustles, I see rump surgery and I’m blind
By the staples and pimples and lies, so many lies
And all I get is dates who lick my ass and I’ve never seen their minds
I’m interested now in robbing cradles
Oh God hear my prayer, make teens ugly and less like fables
I’m not an object, I’m not a vessel, I’m not astute
And all I know is all I know and what I know is aloof
that I look better when I forget and burn all reminders of truth
I feel like karma  is on vacation in the Andes, no blue tooth
Just because I’m hungry and angry and horny
But all I get is half hearted promises from half hearted heathens constantly
Heavenly father intercede, I don’t want to die on my knees
Save me please make a dope just for me…

 

Je t’aime mais je te déteste aussi…

If we’re dying we should do what we want
exclaims my black heart
If I am just waiting until I am proper dead
then nothing matters more than now
Let me inside you
Let me possess you
Let me hurt you and leave you scarred
Let me touch you
Let me persuade you
Let me chase you and chain you down

Je t'aime mais je te déteste aussi

If we’re the fabric of nothing we should live how we feel
exclaims my dirty soul
if I am just holding on to fiction until I feel nothing
then the only thing I can do is crave
Let me envelop you
Let me drain you
Let me burn into your memory
Let me chew you
Let me abuse you
Let me find you and kiss your mouth…

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Selfie

I don’t call myself ,”ThePoet” because I think it’s cute.
It doesn’t ring in my mind like Earl or Countess.
It’s not a way to flaunt or impress anybody.
You name me one person impressed by poetry that is not a poet and I will name you somebody who died in the 1500′s.
I call myself that, not for you but for me.
It is really a hard thing to say about yourself. Its like saying, Hi, I’m the frail. Or hello, nice to meet you, I’m the witness to the madness.
No one cares really but when you say, I’m a poet they say, really, who isn’t?
Or they say, that’s cool but it don’t make no money.
Or they say, so basically you are a stuck up literary jerk.
No, I say it as a way to accept who I am.
To remind myself. I’m not a socialist, I’m not a feminist, I’m not a pragmatist or Catholic or fashion designer or an attorney or anything that raises eyebrows.
All that I do is absorb the whole entire world as I find it and regurgitate the pieces that touch me. Pieces that I think touch everyone.
I remind myself that I am just a vessel by bravely, maybe, vainly calling myself The Poet.
It’s shameful and humbling.
It keeps me from ever taking myself too seriously, ever getting too haughty or caught up.
I see and then I say.
I weave words.
That’s all.
I’m not a mathematician or a model.
I’m not a sailor or a soldier.
I’m not even a true story teller.
I’m a life taste tester. I’m an earth critic. I show you a window and you say what you see in it.
I say it so you say it.
I say it so you remember me.
I hope that you remember that when I’m gone, what I did, exists.
Puzzle pieces of everything through me for you.
And no, It might not be a multinational corporation that I have built on the back of slaves.
It might not be a worldwide religion that I founded that causes confusion for generations.
It might not be cause for a memorial to be erected by heads of state.
All it is, is me finally stepping into my own shoes, unafraid and admitting in front of the whole world that THIS is what I do.
I wouldn’t do anything else.
I can’t and I have tried!
This is who I am.
And I’m okay with it.
I accept it.
And it’s not popular.
And that doesn’t matter.
TO THINE OWNSELF, as they say…. I don’t need to do anything else but be the most authentic version of me.
It’s not cute. It’s my truth.
It’s here and right now.
I am she.
And this way, I get to see you, see me.

6-23-2014 8-20-59 PM

Valerie

I woke up this morning,  a goddess
And on my leisurely constitutional
with the wind and the road
You were encountered
I saw the real you, through the rags
I saw the real you, through the muck and the mud
And as is my nature I stooped
To lift you. To love you. To put you on a level you had never known
And from this new point of view all you could see was
All of the other goddesses from here…
All of the other available goddesses from here…
All of the other available goddesses from here without a frog
on the pedestal in front of their hearts
And so you leapt, as filthy frogs tend to do
With the hopes that you would cross paths with a better queen
With a list of XYZ things….
With hopes that perhaps if your fantasies were for naught
I would chase you… only in your dreams…
I couldn’t be mad at you… your moving on is a frivolity
And all that I could ever do is what a goddess is designed for doing
Tend to myself and dole out unconditional love
Because when a goddess loves you
you have past a test from above
You are momentarily blessed
And when your claws or talons or weakness or perversion
show through, I am already through
before even you knew
There is no malice aforethought when you leave
I wish nothing but happiness for everything
And we both know that my love has made you anew
You’re welcome to continue to be a fool
It suits you
Because when I woke up this morning, I was a goddess
I am beautiful and stellar, with or without your presence..
You are welcome to keep the happiness that I brought you
As I travel this path
along my way
unburdened
by you….

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