You do not want to borrow my chap stick. How could you? I’m not really very fond of certain kinds of liars. I don’t mind actors and writers obviously, I mean they lie to entertain us. We know it’s a lie, right from the beginning so there really never is a bone of contention about it. It was a funny situation I was at a strip club once and the stripper asked me where I was from. I told her Indianapolis. So to ensure that I bought a lap dance from her, she said, really? Me too! I went to Indianapolis High School. I replied, No kidding? Interesting. I am sure that this kind of lie works all of the time. Most places have a school named after the city its in. Unfortunately at the time I lived there, there was no school in the state called that. I didn’t want to rip her throat out because for one she ended up being a stripper with her life. Its not a bad gig being a dancer, but if you could do something else besides have people ogle you all day, you would. I mean she obviously wasn’t that attractive or she would have been a print or television model. Or even a spokes model at those trade shows. So, I couldn’t be angry about the lie. Plus, she was an entertainer, part of that job is trying to connect with people so that they will give you money for shaking your ass at them. I’m sure she doesn’t have to do all of the conversation bullshit when it’s a dude that is paying. But when it is a woman, I feel like the dancers feel some pressure to become my best friend before a dance. Get to know what kind of cocktail I like. Get to know what shoe designers I think are good. This is not really lying, she is not really trying to play me, she is trying to entertain me and this fake friendship comes with it. Melissa is the perfect example of the kind of liar, however that I simply cannot tolerate in my presence. First of all, everyone is sort of gay. I mean, human sexuality is not just up or down, right? So there are colors to it, hues and we fall all over the spectrum. Melissa actually said that she is not attracted to anyone, male or female. She hasn’t become a nun or anything either. And she just sits there, eating her tuna fish sandwich, looking at everyone and she just blurts it out and everyone at the table momentarily froze. I thought that she was on drugs at first and could not control these outbursts or that on some level, she thought she was an entertainer, a comedian no less and she would keep us in stitches to ensure we liked her in the group dynamic. But it never stops. Her stupidity actually knows no bounds. Nobody would just tell lies for fun unless they were crazy or a writer. She can barely read from what I can gather so a writer she is not, but crazy? Perhaps. Melissa tells us all during company orientation when we got hired together that she was allergic to Elizabeth’s coconut cookies. I remembered. She was the only person who did not try one. My Lip gloss is coconut shazam. Why do you want to borrow it, Melissa, you fucking creep?