Kim Deal

Slowly but surely I’m scooping the balm of the sages on myself and lathering me up Surely yet slowly I’m coating the itchiness of insecurity with the salve of reality and clarity I heard it a million times before that nobody is perfect but I never let it sink into my skin deep enough before…

The Calculator

She’d counted. From the driver’s side door to her new office’s visitor’s entrance that opened onto the dimly lit main lobby was 342 steps. There were 4 bushes to the left of the double glass doors and 4 to the right. The walkway was graveled cement. 16 steps from the main floor to the second…

Me and My Brain

Self Control is masochistic It’s frustrating so I drown it. I’m everything I ever wanted to be but It hurts so bad so I drown it. Misery is prolific Its painful so I drown it. Striving is pathetic It’s killing me because I drown in it. I swallow endlessly I’m drowning… I’m drowning… Its hopeless…

Tamashe

Maybe I’m ready to have a good time. I’ve earned these belly rolls. I’m old enough to stop apologizing for doing things for my comfort alone. The 43rd anniversary of my birth is in 8 days. Maybe I’m ready to be my own home. I’ve paid a few dues. So I’m old enough to not…

14 hours before I move back to California

Perhaps if I hadn’t thought I could no longer live in Indiana because I couldn’t find any love there I would never have moved to Upland, California in 2005 and I would never have met the Man from Moreno Valley and I would never moved to Vegas with him and I would never have left…

Green Tea Extract

For the entire time that I was consciously aware Of what was happening around me and who people pretended to be and what the world said that they should have been juxtaposed with the reality of what they were I always felt so sorry for my grandma. Not only sorry that she grew up in…

The Odyssey and the Iliad

This is the test and I’ve got to fucking manage it. My stability has only ever been attached to necessity- somebody needing me and for 18 years my child did. After my 2nd suicide attempt when I wanted to go left and sideways and my son was too little still to appreciate my efforts somehow after…