Warren G and Gluten Free

I’m sorry it’s hard to stop. I’m back in grad school now and I’m panicking. It’s actually pretty fucking great, that’s the problem. It’s legit wonderful. I like school. I like order. I’m trying. I take cranberry pills and plant based digestive enzymes and green tea supplements now. I meditate on Wednesdays and listen to…

Fleshlight Vase

First Song- Toxic Twat @2018 Written by Rude Anne Petty Sung by Rude Anne Petty I bought you a gift before we broke up for the times when I was away but I’m bitter that you keep fucking up so I took the present back I gave and put it on the coffee table with…

Scooby Snacks

Today at 8 AM some man jumped out of his car in the middle of the freeway to close my gas cap. Today at 1 PM some man pulled over in traffic while I was strolling by my job to stop and tell me that I was looking like a queen out there walking around…

@DanV0nD00m

He said he’d do it so I said come here for a second, doll and he said, only a second? We drifted off then. So I said, That’s all it will take to convince you that you made the right decision. Confident words would win him- And he says, I don’t doubt that in the…

Auditioning Sidekicks

I texted the monster. I told him in case he needed me he had a way to contact me. Then I met Houdini. The right speech patterns, the right spirituality, the right artistic endeavors. But turns out like it turns out he isn’t the fucking brightest. We fucked anyway and we’ve already had a fight….

Son Lux

The thing that I like about him the best is that he said exactly what he thought that this association should look like right out of the gate. My god. He didn’t try to trick me He didn’t try to manipulate me He didn’t try to see where I was vulnerable and exploit me He…

Mon plaisir…

You were the cleverest, most charming wordsmith that I had ever seen. Nobody loved you and hurt you as much as me. The jukebox playing music from my favorite band in that obscure Carmel pub… The jukebox playing music from my favorite band in that sports bar in Henderson… The jukebox playing music from my…

At the Holiday Inn with Logan

You lie to me You cry with me You’ll have to leave me I can’t be strong Our song is on Your heart’s gone Something’s wrong Why don’t you Why can’t you Why won’t you Now you’re gone But our song is on And I’m in two Why didn’t you Let love kill you To…

Mother Moonlight Starshine

I’m shiny and 12 again. I’m scraping the topsoil with my hands. When I was 12 I used to love when I got sweaty and funky and other people would say you stink and it would make me cry but those tears and those insults and purposely skipping baths helped me to feel like I…

Contains 0% Juice

This time I am confident that I have finally done what I set out to do so long ago. I scared the shit out of him. And now, hopefully he won’t turn his head and look back. The strange thing about this whole process is that I wish that he would never leave. I wish…