Raw Emotional Chronic Relapse State

He promises me something. I fall for it every single time. He tells me that I’m the one. I want to believe his lies. He says that I win that I can leave knowing that no one else had conquered him but me. He tells me only because I’m leaving, I’m sure. And this must…

Picayune

And that’s how bad habits start. You’re emotional. Someone notices. Someone pretends to help. Someone makes an offer. You accept. You know better but you’re not practical. You know better but you’re not rational. You know better but you’re not logical. They promise. You don’t believe but you’re willing. You’ve always been willing. Next thing…

When the Monster Gambles…

I told him next to David he was number two his clean ass apartment was like Academia too I initially came just to get some weed but then he laid a sob story on me and I was already fully drunk Cause he had texted he fucked up his truck in a collision on the…

Insignificant Human Life

You text me at 8:21 PM Last Night Tell me what your mood is over the phone or show me in person. The man that I am so sure that I love asked me if I wanted any company last night and I didn’t but then you asked me if I did and somehow, things…

Half Priced Box Wine

Sunken lifeless child’s eyes greasy receding mop top cut into a military style lack of a strong jaw hidden by a multicolored graying beard sweating profusely, huge drops of liquid salt falling like tear drops, like rain drops, a faucet- wet sloppy mouth constantly distracting from rarely brushed teeth sparse hair patches in weird spotty…

Replica of Real Life

The picket fence is the dead line Once you walk through the silky bubble Of order and innocence and charm And feel your insignificance for the first time On the East or West Coast You either crumble into yourself and scurry back Or you break the invisible shackles and grow up for the first time The…

So low I’m high or so high I’m low

The last drag off my cigarette fills up my entire chest cavity and my mind aimless and unsettled wanders the empty streets every night looking for some balm looking for something to worship or just something to believe in. The final sip of my alcohol burns the wholeness of my throat and my heart broken and…

C21 H23 NO5

He gone say, I got you And she say uh huh , sure She’s morphine to his fiend He can’t resist the pull But he never stops Never stops coming when she calls And he does whatever he promises And she gone take it all She gone take his breath and reasons She gone steal his heart…

DEA Schedule 1

The left side edge of my upper lip is itchy so I lick it and now, I can’t stop getting it wet and for some reason that reminds me of the last time that I saw you you were sweaty and naked and buried between my shivering lower extremities face deep praying to me with…

Crapulence

I forgot to remember to notice When it started to feel good When the pain had faded pink When the edges browned I forgot to remember to write down When I felt it feel right When it tasted authentic When serotonin surged And here I am in the midst Trying desperately to remember When you…