What y’all left behind

It’s difficult not to think about on a rainy afternoon in January when you live in a one bedroom apartment by yourself in a suburb of Sacramento believe it or not, it really is so hard not to look back on the shit I kept and the shit I’ve thrown away see I’ve thrown away…

Les Demoiselles d’Avignon

I thought it was because I wasn’t well versed and I was unrehearsed or because I couldn’t get loving them quite right then I thought it must be because of the way I appear and their own preferential fear or because I couldn’t love the things that they loved quite right And as I continued…

Never ending echoes

So I feel pretty terrible right now and I think it’s best that I get it all out so that I can not only go on with my day but my life. Deep breath. Yesterday Old Faithful e-mailed me at work. He was checking to see if I was still in Ohio and explained to…

Ohio Renaissance Festival

When I was 41, I pissed on the chest of a 22 year old Abercrombie looking white boy who was a soccer and poker player in this apartment. I found out that it wasn’t just depression or PTSD or PMDD but Borderline Personality Disorder in this apartment. I frantically paced wondering where my son had…

Mon plaisir…

You were the cleverest, most charming wordsmith that I had ever seen. Nobody loved you and hurt you as much as me. The jukebox playing music from my favorite band in that obscure Carmel pub… The jukebox playing music from my favorite band in that sports bar in Henderson… The jukebox playing music from my…

Contains 0% Juice

This time I am confident that I have finally done what I set out to do so long ago. I scared the shit out of him. And now, hopefully he won’t turn his head and look back. The strange thing about this whole process is that I wish that he would never leave. I wish…

Taking Stock

They lined up, single file in my mind From most recent to the oldest, waiting patiently for their turn to speak when asked to describe being with me. The monster would say She’s a little crazy, a little gullible but useful. He never loved me though… Old Faithful would say She has no capacity for…

Lady Mallowan

So I have no illusions that you will actually read this… although you might if I post to my blog since that is your “go to” for news on what I am thinking about and doing with my life but in all honesty, it doesn’t matter one way or the other. The point of me…

Mop Tops

The Pelirrojo had the gift of gab He didn’t look half bad yet I got a parasite vibe and ignored it He was a bully and annoying And since I was doing him for my own entertainment Instead of engagement I threw his heart into a waste bin And I could blame him but… I’d…

Robbery Recuperation

He saw the place online And he asked if he could move in He brought music and emotion to the place But as soon as it was decorated He started putting locks on cabinets Locks on drawers and claiming security for himself was the way he showed his love. But the house was crumbling wind…