Boys from the Bay

I like doting on men. Saying sweet shit like I don’t ever need anything else but you and making them poetry, and stories and songs and doing all of the stupid and specific sex shit they like and acting all vulnerable and innocent and pleasant and letting them fuck me whenever and wherever they want…

Kim Deal

Slowly but surely I’m scooping the balm of the sages on myself and lathering me up Surely yet slowly I’m coating the itchiness of insecurity with the salve of reality and clarity I heard it a million times before that nobody is perfect but I never let it sink into my skin deep enough before…

14 hours before I move back to California

Perhaps if I hadn’t thought I could no longer live in Indiana because I couldn’t find any love there I would never have moved to Upland, California in 2005 and I would never have met the Man from Moreno Valley and I would never moved to Vegas with him and I would never have left…

Ohio Renaissance Festival

When I was 41, I pissed on the chest of a 22 year old Abercrombie looking white boy who was a soccer and poker player in this apartment. I found out that it wasn’t just depression or PTSD or PMDD but Borderline Personality Disorder in this apartment. I frantically paced wondering where my son had…

After Nell Fenwick Again

You’re asking me, world, for all this strength and I can barely stand There’s nothing to sweep up and muster sometimes when everything built is on shifting sands All I can do is get back to my weight loss routine get back to some universal truth Get back to standing for something get back to…

Robert Frost

When you begin genuinely, just like he said, you’ll never know from the start where it will end or how When you begin with something on your heart and in your mind but you’ll take whatever it gives you just the same But me I’ve been searching for peace up mountain tops with my soul…

Prevention

If my head was in that space right now the space where ending it all was all that I could think about what would I want someone to say to me and mean wholeheartedly? I’d want to be told the following: ” Baby, come hug me. I hate when you don’t see in you what…

Mon plaisir…

You were the cleverest, most charming wordsmith that I had ever seen. Nobody loved you and hurt you as much as me. The jukebox playing music from my favorite band in that obscure Carmel pub… The jukebox playing music from my favorite band in that sports bar in Henderson… The jukebox playing music from my…

At the Holiday Inn with Logan

You lie to me You cry with me You’ll have to leave me I can’t be strong Our song is on Your heart’s gone Something’s wrong Why don’t you Why can’t you Why won’t you Now you’re gone But our song is on And I’m in two Why didn’t you Let love kill you To…

Mother Moonlight Starshine

I’m shiny and 12 again. I’m scraping the topsoil with my hands. When I was 12 I used to love when I got sweaty and funky and other people would say you stink and it would make me cry but those tears and those insults and purposely skipping baths helped me to feel like I…