What y’all left behind

It’s difficult not to think about on a rainy afternoon in January when you live in a one bedroom apartment by yourself in a suburb of Sacramento believe it or not, it really is so hard not to look back on the shit I kept and the shit I’ve thrown away see I’ve thrown away…

The Odyssey and the Iliad

This is the test and I’ve got to fucking manage it. My stability has only ever been attached to necessity- somebody needing me and for 18 years my child did. After my 2nd suicide attempt when I wanted to go left and sideways and my son was too little still to appreciate my efforts somehow after…

An Email to my Son 12 days before his 18th Birthday

Thanks for talking to me about how you’re feeling last night. There are lot of pressures as adults and you can always talk to me as long as I’m on the earth. I wish that I had known at your age, that I needed to be very careful around certain things and certain people, because who…

La Bruja Negra

I called to you Over hills and through valleys and under rocks and down streams I chanted your name on the essence, on the fly on the wind, on the wings You heard me cascading through,like visions do under skin and over heart strings you came to me spell cast eyes red socked feet frozen…

Saying Goodbye to Kane

I have to be completely honest. I almost don’t care if you read this or not. I am writing it more for myself than anything, like a release. I tend to have to do that when an issue with you arrises. There is no talking about it. As soon as you open your mouth whatever…

A Man

A Man. My excuses have always been about a man. The reason I haven’t reached as far as I can, I must admit has been about a man. Well, back at the beginning it was my step dad and my real dad One I didn’t see and one I wished would go to hell And…

Thank You Notes For The Men I Love

  To my own personal Deepak Chopra- Thank you. There are so many times in the past twenty years when I didn’t see much of you and still I feel the same. You have such a deeply rooted positive energy about you that is so refreshing and beautiful. I am lucky to know you. And…

The Adventures of Anti Social Man or Why I don’t love you

“ You blocked me from your phone, so I couldn’t call you. That’s why I came over to your place unannounced. I just wanted to know, did I leave my belt over here a few months ago? I really need that belt, it’s the only belt that I have. Oh, I see, I really fucked…