What y’all left behind

It’s difficult not to think about on a rainy afternoon in January when you live in a one bedroom apartment by yourself in a suburb of Sacramento believe it or not, it really is so hard not to look back on the shit I kept and the shit I’ve thrown away see I’ve thrown away…

Gamma Butyrolactone

A full work day damn near 7 hours He came over at 11:30 AM I was worried but I wasn’t afraid of him He felt the same fucking way, scared because he could have encountered anything that reckless gambling but he got me and I got a work day from him too but it felt…

The Temple of Osiris at Abydos

It’s because the cut is right and because the cut is right the whole of the universe exists on the very end of my emotional string, my happening, my being is nothing and within that nothing lies everything. It’s because its easy enough and doesn’t require much fuss and is a reflection of us and…

Les Demoiselles d’Avignon

I thought it was because I wasn’t well versed and I was unrehearsed or because I couldn’t get loving them quite right then I thought it must be because of the way I appear and their own preferential fear or because I couldn’t love the things that they loved quite right And as I continued…

Dickrider

I wanna go to the casino I wanna go to the art museum I want to go to a fancy luxury theater I want to take pictures of my experiences to share with the world on social media so that they think I’ve been happy at some point and that I’ve done fun and important…

107 days in the Capital of California

In September the one skinny artist dude sweat and grunted too much so I opted out. Later that month the young gorgeous thug wanted to be a professional escort so I saw him out. In October the potential stalker felon cat fell in love with an idea because of blood’s warmth so I scared him…

He introduced me to Tank and the Bangas

I’m sure that I must have said your name He left the same way he came Carrying things that I never saw the inside of And he did what he was supposed to do Stood in for you Even if he did talk about himself the entire time Even if he did try to step…

The Last Deaths of 2018

How the monster saved me today was our most recent and evidently last conversation. He was reminding me how much he missed me physically and that if we’d ever decided to be anything it would have been fun and then ultimately ruined One of us would fuck it up or possibly both of us and…

Smells Like Sage

I need to do what? Pull my bootstraps up? It’s not even 8 am yet and I’m stressed. Oh please, oh please don’t give me that bootstrap speech. My grandmother, rest her, child of the great depression used to run me that fucking line constantly. It’s probably one of the reasons that I’m in therapy…

The Metallic Aqua Blue Lacquer

I’m fine. It’s fine. Everything’s fine and as it should be and it’s not your fault. It really isn’t. It’s not your fault that I don’t know how to end things like a proper adult. I’m actually quite sorry so sorry that I’m crazy and I hang onto whoever the person is that is least…