I wish that I had

a closet to climb out of

but there are no support groups

for righteously rampant insecurity.

Here I stand but

Nobody cares about me

since my problems are only

the fear crumbs of a

fucked up childhood.

Here I am and

I pretend to pray

but I stopped believing

ions ago

step dads ago

loathing ago-

Stuck.

So look here

in the grand scheme of scheming

I wish the giant shoulder

Of any god or an earthly

equivalent would just let me cry

my fragile and moronic and

acidic tears for once

without interruption.

There is nowhere to turn

In the middle of the madness

When you are scared of yourself.

Here I stand- an unforgivable narcissist

A Sociopath priestess

Slaughtering anything calling itself a friend

Yet so afraid of being alone.

I want my daddy, too.

but deities

and

my mother

All have

A strict

belly aching clause.