Now you dine with the famous

Flashback to when I met you

You never ate because you had no money for food-

Now you travel worldwide

Flashback to when you left me at your

Friend’s house because you were mad

That he could do things to my body that you couldn’t-

And it wasn’t his fault

And it wasn’t my fault that you introduced me to him

And you took me to his house

And you sat in the corner and watched

As he sailed me to ecstasies in that waterbed that you could only be jealous of.

Now you have groupies

Flashback to when you were my groupie

And you used to drive over to my dorm uninvited

And announce on the speaker box at the door

That you were rubbing your dick on the elevator buttons

And you really wished I would let you in

‘Cause you knew I was home

Now you have a glamorous wife

Flashback to when you had a raggedy girlfriend

Who you told me was just your friend

Until I met her and she told me otherwise

And it wasn’t her fault

And it wasn’t my fault that I met you first but you dated her

And still called me every night to see if I was available

Because you didn’t care about anybody back then

Flash-forward to now

You still don’t.

Asshole.