Just so you know I’m mean to you when you are around your other friends because I have to be.

My snide comments are because you like snide comments.

You have perfected the snide comment.

But I see you.

I see you kowtowing to the other ants around you with red stripes on their backs.

You want them to like you, I get it, you want everyone to like you so

You let them make you the butt of every joke.

You think that you are strong enough to handle it.

You seek out your biggest wounds, scratch off the scabs and show them to everyone.

You say, look guys, look how fucked up I am and they laugh.

They laugh at you.

You have perfected the self depreciating laugh.

Just so you know I laugh at you too because I have to.

I laugh at you so you will like me as much as you like them.

You won’t though and I know this.

I know you won’t because you know that I am not like them.

I actually think you are amazing.

I actually enjoy your company and not for the purposes of dissecting your word play to find your scars.

Just so you know I don’t think you are a sad clown.

I think you are a puppet in love with red striped ants.

If only you would remember they are small town.

If only you would see they are no more important to the direction of your life than a stop sign.

If only you would love yourself enough to know that you aren’t smart but you aren’t dumb.

If only you would let go of the bright red fucking stripe that makes you kiss ass.

You aren’t a king but shouldn’t be a jester either.

The hurt you feel brings you attention and it is still attention and I get that.

It’s just my opinion but if you let me feel how I feel about you out loud-

If you would accept the love I want to give you-

If you weren’t afraid of what the red ants would say-

You’d stand straighter, think clearer and notice

Those red stripes are incestuous crusty blood stains

And your blue stripe is so much better.

Just so you know I will behave in the way you respond to because I need to.

I want to be in your life.

If you should ever know your true worth someday and change your mind-

And maybe I am out of my depth baby, but-

When you decide to be yourself and love yourself just how you are

Whenever you get tired of trying to impress people who will never be so

amused and enthralled with you as I am,

I’m right here.