He moved the couch

He mowed the lawn

He watered the plants

He fed the kids

He took out the trash

And washed the car

And cooked your favorite meal.

So You pull out your calendar of obligations

You need to send your mother a mother’s day card

You need to get the dog groomed

And pay your dues at Pilates class

And oh yes, when the man

You supposedly love

Finishes all his chores and honey do’s

And hands you his pay check

And sits by the bed lovingly

Eyes all big and frantic

Veins popping out of his forehead

Panting like a rabid beast

Then and only then

Will You sigh and check the box next to

Sex with him

Because your pussy runs the world.

Please don’t put your significant other

On your obligation calendar.

You love him right?

He loves you too, yes?

Then it’s okay to have sex for free.

That’s right, free.

When you see him and he smells good

And you want to taste him, then fuck him.

It doesn’t have to require that first he has painted the porch.

If you are having sex for things

You are a prostitute

If you are having sex when you do not want to

You are a sex slave

The price for sex should be sex alone

Not a new headlight installed on your car.

Trust me you greedy, evil bitches

Trying to build your trust fund on daddy-o’s knuckles

He is not suffering all those cold long nights, no ma’am

Keep your legs locked because he bought the wrong venetian blinds.

He smiles anyway

You don’t love him you love what he provides

Somehow he smiles anyway

Still he’s warm and snug and exhausted

And happy-

From having sex with me all night.

Which is why he forgot your stupid fucking drapes.