Sometimes I’m such a fucking teenager

Standing on the edge of everything

Staring into infinity

Scared like the first time

Thinking hard…

Thinking that…

Last time your love nearly suffocated me

And here we are again, Kane

I love you

And you like me, a lot

Not more than basketball, I know

And a little more than shoes, I guess

But

How could I stick my toe in the same

Pool of dark water

Where I very nearly drowned?

Fear grips when I see that

You’re on a date tonight

400 miles away from your home

In the town of my birth

Thanks to the internet

Thanks to the constant global cyber spotlight on your life

This should not upset me

I’M NOT YOUR GOD DAMNED GIRLFRIEND FOR HEAVEN SAKES-

But how can I know that the telling of it to the universe

Wasn’t meant to do just that?

I am Pepe Le Pew tonight.

Sometimes I’m such a love sick sappy sucky fucking teenager.

It bothers me

It bothers me badly

Especially since in less than sixty midnights

You will travel 2000 miles to see me

What does that mean now though…

Are you on fucking tour?

I

Am

Afraid.

Scared like the first time…

Remember the first time I was going to ask for your number and you read my face and offered it?

No words.

Remember when I use to cook whatever I could find in the house and I would feed you off my own fork?

No me. Just you.

So much has happened since then and I haven’t grown up by one day yet.

Scared like the first time…

What if you like her?

Ugh.

She’s closer than me

And I’m deeper

And I’m sinking

And I’m overreacting

And feeling pimply and bloated and stupefied

For absolutely no reason.

I am Charlie Brown tonight.

This should be easier, I mean you’re only the end all be all

If I say you are.

I’M NOT YOUR GOD DAMNED GIRLFRIEND FOR HEAVEN SAKES-

If only I could confidently tell a shark

He does not rule the darkened sea

I wish that I could have my memory erased

I wish that I could forget I ever knew you

But you are my heart’s prisoner

Having sushi

On the streets where I grew up

With someone else right now.

I’m gonna fuck my crazy ex this weekend just to make myself feel better

Thanks to you.

I am Rogue tonight, Gambit, thanks to you.

Sometimes, desperate times, weak times, insecure times

I can’t seem to find the shore

When I’m not even in the water anymore

I’m

Such a loser tonight.

Nothing more than a soaked, half dead, fully functioning drama queen

Born this morning

In love with  Poseidon

A crummy fucking

Teenager

Standing on the edge of everything

Staring into infinity

Scared like the first time.