Mick

Its not that I don’t want you to be happy

Giggling in photographs, loving your life

Its just that I dont want to see it

Unless I can feel it too.

Its not that I am trying to usurp your joy

Losing weight and feeling great

Its just that I have to keep up

To stay sane.

I feel like my love is tainted by shame.

I feel like my admiration comes at the price of silent disdain

I almost wish I never knew you

Then I wouldn’t envy you

And have no reason to complain

That you look perfect and sound perfect and act perfect in every way

and I act clumsy, and confusing and manic from day to day

Then when you say…

You can’t help but wonder how I hold it all together~

Its like you knew I needed to hear it

My thanks quickly dissipates

And its not like I don’t believe you

beaming beautiful and bright

I just wish you would break your leg or something

So I could enjoy my life.