I want you to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be alright, I know the people in that episode didn’t really die but seeing them embrace for the last time made me think of the last time that you told me that you loved me, do you remember it because I wrote it down since it very rarely happens and it was sweet we were on the beach listening to the drum circle and the sun was setting behind the water and you said it and then I thought, you know that was three years ago…he hasn’t said it in three years so it makes sense that I would cry I was thinking of that and the fact that I never feel good enough and my stomach hurts so bad and I don’t feel like going to work and how come I can’t stay home and be a house wife how come you are so broke and you don’t tell me you love me and we both have to work and I kind of feel like I would feel a lot better if I was alone because I can’t stand you, I abhor stupid people and I don’t want you to think about touching me ever again because mascara has dripped onto my shirt and this is my favorite shirt and the whole world is fucked up and if I eat another fucking tub of ice cream I am not going to fit into the pants that I just bought and its ridiculous that I have to go through this all alone, this fucking pain ,these emotional highs I mean there is no reason for me to be bawling at Kleenex commercials but you don’t understand so I feel like you are the enemy and I wish I could crush your fucking face with a steam roller you pig and You think I am insane but I am not insane I an overwhelmed and I need relief and I’m tired and I’m in pain and I am swollen and you don’t help me and I want to lay down so I’m sorry I said that I don’t think you are fat I just wish today was over I just want to go to sleep and start all over forgive me please, hold me….