Right now

Licking my right pinkie finger

alcohol on it…

And my fake nails cascading across the keyboard

no letter R

Well I broke the R

i broke the R off when my Boyfriend was on the comp, being a dick and wouldn’t let me use it to watch a movie

on Netflix,

that I pay for

because he was having a conversation in a room

I CREATED

to publish a book we are supposed to be writing together.

A while ago, the R.

He is watching Casino. Again. He owns it but when it comes on, ON demand he watches it again like its a new movie.

I want to slit his throat.

Not really.

Dont want to mess up the nails he bought.

So hey I’m at the grocery and this lil white boy, young, tan, light eyes, driving this ill whip stops me in the parking lot and goes,

hey boo.

The sunlight gleams off his fucking eyes for crying out loud.

I smile.

And feel proud.

Now Im strutting around the house in spandex pants thinking Im cute.

And I wanna fuck a stranger.
And he is checking his phone, the messages are cute and hilarious obviously.

I could be jealous but would it be obvious?

Right now

im insecure and horny

and drunk

and happy

and scared

and weird

and hopeful.