Her side, he said

Is clean.

There are bottles upon bottles

Of potions and elixirs and creams and sprays

in lavender and crystal salt and coconut

lined up by height

flower exfoliant explosion

To keep her skin soft and creamy and moist

And every morning I bet she peels off

a layer of dead and puts on

a protective mask

and when she does the smile is baked in

and I bet that’s why she seems

so fucking happy all the damn time.

His side, she said

is filthy.

Everything is scattered everywhere

no toothpaste tube top in sight

Hair from shaving all over the vaseline

and the lotion dried out months ago but

he still won’t throw away the bottle

crusty stains from probably eating chicken while shaving

The mirror spotted with soap splashes

and is so disorganized and laid back just like he is

no expectations no fluff no fine tooth comb

just whatever he wants whenever he wants and

he ignores what doesn’t matter just brushes,

slathers and moves on caring very little about

what others think- he is even free in the fucking bathroom…

And I bet that is why he seems

so fucking happy all the damn time.