How to Kill A Girl

YOU walked two miles just to buy me a cake.
YOU walked four miles just to buy me icecream.
You’re SKINNY as a rail and I wear the same sized pants now as Santa does.
This is no Magi’s gift-This is more like TO SERVE MAN from the Twilight Zone.
Thanks, Jack Spratt.
Because next week when you want to fight,
Next week when I won’t have the energy
Thanks to my sugar induced coma
You’ll hit me in the flabby middle with a jowls comment
As I head out the door to meet my friends for tea-
It will reverberate in my mind until I cry and because YOU are such a good guy
You’ll walk six miles to get me a consolation pie.
YOU take me down with chocolately missile strikes
Whilst I hold this stupid spoon, defenseless.