Shame on me.
It’s foolish, I know.
It’s childish, ever so
To close my eyes and see you
Sitting on the hotel bed, propped up with pillows
shirtless
looking at me
like you haven’t eaten in weeks.
Girl, let it go,
let it go
It was nearly ten years ago
shame on me.
It’s silliness, I declare
brushing my hair
and closing my eyes just to see you
watching me flick ash
staring at the Vegas skyline from your room
and waiting for the split second
between my sigh at its gaudy magnificence
and my decision to leave
to grab my hand
no words
I don’t remember words
Girl, let it go,
let it go
It was nearly ten years ago
But I just recall your face
the weakness and desperation
the urgency, the neediness
the hopelessness, please don’t go just yet…
And how could I leave?
When I could barely stand it
the frustration, frustrates me
And now, even now, all these millennia later
all these awkward days and nights after
all these lives lived and past and used and over and meaningless
in between then and now and then
I still…
think of that night
like it was last night
Girl, let it go,
let it go
It was nearly ten years ago
but I hold on because I have yet to feel
that satisfied in getting precisely
what I dreamed of
to touch it and taste it and be it
actually-
because I’m ridiculous
And shame on me
Its immature, I’m aware
to live in Las Vegas
and never step foot into the Palms Resort and Casino again
because of my vivid instant replay
bygones ungone
of you
when my eyelids dip.