I decided to test myself.
It accidentally was brought to my attention that all I think about is sex.
Of course the first thing that happened were the cursory denials.
True to formula, acceptance came later and I tried to laugh it off and then it hit me…
All I think about is sex.
Now this is no good, not good, the opposite of good because well, I’m a girl!
Well alright not a girl but at least, a lady!
Okay, forget that, a woman. That doesn’t seem statistically possible, how could all I think about
be sex, I mean there are high heels out there and vodka cocktails and Pilates
and soap operas and hair curlers and charity luncheon fund raisers to think about
for heaven’s sakes!
Was I back at denial? Well, no its just I’m some one’s mother! Egad! I cannot
only think about sex, that’s impossible, I am a woman and I am someone’s mother…
My priorities are clearly out of whack this makes no sense this is not something
that I should be remotely proud of  I mean, never mind the fact that I am nearly
forty years old, I mean come on. This is how it went in my mind for about
fifteen minutes as I tried to conjure up things I should be thinking about, things
more important to be thinking about since I am a mother and all.
Nothing entered my brain.
You can imagine how disappointing this is, I mean thinking about sex all the time
is the most primitive thing you can think, it is the equivalent intellectually of
thinking about taking a crap all the time. Hmmm, I was spiraling downward now
considering that poop is often my second thought.
What does this mean? Does this mean I’m some sort of pervert? Does it mean
that I have daddy issues? Or perhaps low self esteem, or for hell’s bells, all three?!
I decided that I was going to no longer think about sex I was going to think about
flowers, and rain and showers and being naked in the shower, all lathered up in the
steam and touching….wait.
Fuck.
No! Even my cursing is sex related.
My dreams are sex related. My conversation, riddled with sexual innuendo.
It’s all I think about.
And I have come to the conclusion that the reason is based solely on one true factor.
I’m not having enough.