Sometimes I am just so utterly and thoroughly disgusted with human beings that I have no idea what to do next. It’s unnecessary to say but I will preface my statements with that fact that I know that we are all complicated creatures, not everything that I will say applies to every single one of us and no one is perfect. Yeah, yeah, yeah.  

But something has to bother you about all of this.

You have to have something that grinds your gears, that you know is out of whack and needs to be fixed. Everyone might not be able to see what you see and if that is the case it is your charge, your mission no less, to rectify it the best way you know how.

For me, that will probably be to write something.

Because I can no longer stand this.

One of my former employees just explained to me what a’ thot’ is.

A beautiful girl told me this definition and thought that it was funny. And she, along with a lot of other women, are spending their days and nights talking about, disrespecting, sexualizing, demeaning and verbally assaulting other women. It just makes me so terribly sad. Sure there are plenty of other problems in the world, but for me, if OVER half of the human population is always subjected to misogyny and sexual abuse and harassment and rape and all other sorts of atrocious crimes on a daily basis I have trouble sleeping. It seems like such a small thing, but so is one drop of water in the ocean. And a bunch of drops will drown you. And I feel like it’s up to my neck. Perhaps if we stop this kind of lingo, stop this thought process, maybe this kind of viewpoint toward women and the actions that follow will also stop too. So because she likes to have sex and does not apologize for it, we have to crucify her CONSTANTLY because what she chooses to do with her body?

We have to sleep with her and then tell her she is nothing because she let us? What she does and with whom is up for debate by the entire world. I am so angry.

OTHER people have to approve of you if you are female.

Everyone on earth gets a say in your life.

EVERYONE.

And ladies we are doing this to each OTHER. Why? What is it that I am missing and not understanding, here? It’s obviously not a joke or a cute nickname because if someone called your MOTHER a “thot” you would be ready to FIGHT, wouldn’t you? If someone said your big sister, the one with the Master’s degree, the sheriff, the soldier, the doctor was nothing if she couldn’t TWERK, you would be ready for battle.  Well, I’m ready to fight right now. I’m sick of being underpaid because I have a vagina. I’m sick of being told that cooking and cleaning is all I am capable of doing well. I’m tired of being called hysterical because I have a menstrual cycle that helps me to CARRY other HUMANS! The same ones, who are going to turn right around and tell me I’m not shit because I like sex!! I’m sick of people defining my worth by how big or how small I am. By how much makeup I wear. By how low cut my blouse is. By the dude who I let take care of me.  I’m tired of songs and movies and posters always depicting some woman getting dragged by her damn hair, or being saved from some beast by an even more controlling monster, or constantly calling us HOES, and BITCHES, and TRAMPS, and SLUTS and now THOTS. And I’m more sick of the women who do this to each other; who judge each other by this same criteria -who judge single mothers, when they CAME FROM ONE and who stick around with men who disrespect them, hurt them and their children just to say that they have a man to impress their church or their trapped and abused friends. Misery loves company. And I do not hate men. That would be just as bad. And no I’m not a lesbian but so what if I was?!  There is absolutely nothing wrong with loving a WOMAN. It disgusts me to the bottom of my soul that it’s okay to think there is something wrong for caring for your sister, your auntie, your mother and your daughter as AN EQUAL. I’m tired of being treated like I’m stupid or weak because I am female. Do you really think that I am here on earth for someone’s amusement and obsession with what I look like?  Can you actually name that many women in your family who have not been BEATEN, MOLESTED, ASSAULTED (Physically or verbally) or RAPED?!?

I can’t.

Is this the kind of culture we want to continue for generations and generations to come? When does it end? And if I want to have more than one sexual partner in my entire life, somehow that makes me less of an amazing, talented, fabulous, beautiful, awesome sister, mother, cousin, friend, wife? How? Why?

I just don’t see how anyone could look at a woman, any woman and want to hurt her. Why is this okay? I heard somewhere -a quote from someone- that a culture that respects and adores its women is where GODS dwell. Well this is not that culture now is it?

And my sisters, who are sitting around thinking that they are fat, and ugly and getting so depressed by what other people think of them that they function in a constant state of insecurity and disapproval from the entire country, from their own families, from other females and in front of the constant scrutiny of a simple mirror in their own homes just makes me want to man a star ship to another galaxy. I’m tired of the oppression.

I’m tired of the verbal and physical abuse.

I’m tired of the insults and stereotypes. I’m tired of the media and the music and the movies portrayal of what a woman is and should be. I’m tired of religious texts that tell me I have to play a background character in my own life!  I’m tired of laws in my country that govern what I can do with my own flesh and blood!

And more than anything I am so tired of women doling out this kind of treatment to other WOMEN. Ladies, you are breaking my heart, truly. It’s nearly 2014. This can’t be life. This can’t be, after all of this time, as far as we have gotten.  Because something has to bother you about all this. You have to have something that grinds your gears, that you know is out of whack and needs to be fixed.

There has to be something we can do, right now. Maybe it starts with us saying no to popularizing this kind of slang.  Maybe it starts with giving people other options for entertainment besides vapid, ignorant gold diggers famous for recording sexual performances and fighting each other on screen over gossip and cheating boyfriends.  Maybe we should vote for legislation that supports our rights and safety. If someone hits you LEAVE THEM! Stop talking about each other, stop letting people disrespect you, stop taking scraps when you deserve to be treated like a valuable HUMAN BEING, not an accessory, sexual object or breeding factory. Stop supporting music and movies that call you LESS THAN NOTHING!  Surround yourself with men and women who know how to uplift each other and treat each other with kindness, courtesy and respect.

You have to approve of you.

No one actually has a say in what goes on in your life.

No one.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being a WOMAN.

And there is especially nothing wrong with LOVING one…