Warning- please do not use this tactic if you are afraid to lose the person that you are playing the game on. The answer may not be what you expect and you cannot take it back once it has been revealed. If you really don’t want to be bothered with the person the safest bet is to just break up with them cleanly and leave it at that. This is not a game to play with a married partner. If you are playing games and you are married you probably should seek professional counseling.

This experiment is for the cold-hearted members of the Bad Guys Brigade. This experiment is for when you must unleash the crazy. The objective is to determine the intentions of a suitor. Remember most do not survive. To join the Brigade, see Pixie Prince.

To Begin-

• Start an argument. This argument must be held over the phone or some other communication device. IT WILL NOT WORK IN PERSON.
• Doesn’t make any difference what the topic of the row is, as long as it is not about the subject’s physical appearance…but be verbally aggressive when you are starting this fight. No name calling, just state your case about whatever issue and fume a bit.
• The subject has to attempt to calm you. ( Will not work otherwise, the subject has to demonstrate a desire to placate).
• After their attempt to soothe, escalate. ( yelling or ALL UPPER CASE LETTERS is more effective than crying or emoticons).
• When you begin to see the subject unraveling because they can not find an answer or solution to your complaint ask, “Would you die for me?”

No one really wants to die for someone. Perhaps parents for their children in rare cases. What you are doing by inserting this question in the middle of a fight is trying to determine the level of crazy you are dealing with.

Typical responses and what they mean:

If the person never answers, avoids the question by asking another question or makes an unrelated statement as if they did not hear you, this individual has a secret agenda that does not involve your lil love scenario. The person is not crazy, just a schemer or a classic opportunist. Be very weary because their love will wear off when it no longer services them.

If the person will interrupt the heat of the argument and say, of course they would die for you, and you are only dating, this person is a stone cold psychopath and would probably also kill you if they felt justified in doing so, which means incredible passion for you in the beginning stages but also means that desperate levels of low self esteem will rear their ugly heads soon enough. This person is entirely too clingy.

If the the person’s response is an emphatic no, with no other words, no other thoughts or communication, just no. Ditch them. They can’t even stand you right now, let alone like you and love was never and will never be part of the question. They were probably about to ask you the same thing.

I suspect that best answer would be something like, “I’d rather live for you or with you…” The response is not too crazy, still passionate but also shows the individual is a quick wit, which can come in handy on the road of life. The answer was also positive which is a plus and also shows that this person will not be backed into ultimatum type options. He or she will love you fully if you choose to be with them and will lose no sleep if you choose otherwise. There is security here. However, this person may now realize that you are completely insane for putting them through this test and dump your crazy ass anyway.

The Brigade will always be there for you, though, when you have scared away everyone else.