Ms. Martha Jane

Strange
Every time some dude wants to break up with me he has something to say about my grandma-
soliloquy as a parting gift, I guess
one dude was like, she was the strongest woman in your life, and I know you want to be like her to please her but she is alone now and you refuse to see that part.
One dude was like she fucked you up so bad, made you believe all these relationship rules that only happen in the movies and now here you are suffering because of the mistakes that you were taught, like you are a princess or some shit.
And this dude just said, everybody that you have ever loved has let you down at some point except your grandma and it feels like you won’t accept anybody’s standards but her’s so if she would disapprove of me you so faithful to that bullshit that you cant even see what real love looks like.
Maybe.
Or maybe even when she wasn’t trying
even when she was just existing in front of me
She carried herself upright, fighting poverty, and disrespect and the cold wind
she smelled like royalty and even her name means lady
and I knew at ten, that the respect that the whole world gives her every single time that she enters a room is what I wanted to have.
What I deserved.
And if goddess mode doesn’t come vacuum packed with a loving man inside I can see very clearly that although she ended up on her own in what you call “the end”
She will still read the whole room without permission.
she didn’t end up cracked up, beat up,
afraid, sad or weak at least not in front of anyone counting on her to govern the earth masterfully
So I am making this choice for my very own soul
If its too much for you to be impeccable in my grandma’s eyes, feel free to move along….