The Adventures of Anti Social Man or Why I don’t love you

“ You blocked me from your phone, so I couldn’t call you. That’s why I came over to your place unannounced. I just wanted to know, did I leave my belt over here a few months ago? I really need that belt, it’s the only belt that I have. Oh, I see, I really fucked up now didn’t I? You don’t want to talk to me? I should have just stayed with you instead of moving back to California. I was just playing when I told you to leave. I was just kidding girl, you know I joke a lot. I mean, you needed to move out, you just sat in the bed room and never talked. You never wanted to drink or go out anymore. You wouldn’t let me touch you, I mean you were being a real bitch. I know it was because I forced you to quit your job, but you hated that job so , I mean what could I tell you? You want this fake life, you know, where people have dinner parties and do all this bull shit just to impress each other. Why do you want to live like that? It was silly to me, is all I am saying. And then when you left, I lost my place, did I tell you that? Well, you know I wasn’t working and my mom didn’t want to pay for anything if you weren’t there so I ended up going back to Cali. Who knew that if I moved back there, I would get into yet another terrible accident? The last time it happened, 5 years ago, I should have known to not get into a car with a drunk driver but I was drunk too you see so it wasn’t my fault. Remember the first time, when I came over to your place with my eyeball dangling out of my face? That was fucked up huh? And this time, I can’t believe it, the same thing happened! I wasn’t driving! They are the ones who put me at risk. I drive really well drunk, ’cause I’m drunk all the time, you know that. I’m a better driver when I’m drunk but I wasn’t behind the wheel. I’ve never been in an accident that was actually my fault. Now my central nervous system is fucked up. And you are right, you are right you shouldn’t get back with me. Because if you did I would only leave you when my body starts to break down I don’t want anyone else to have to take care of me when I start to get really sick from this. Hey can I spend the night? It’s so hot out here. I’ve been looking for a new apartment all day and I’m tired. I think that I might even start looking for a job. I know, I know, I didn’t work the entire time we were together, seven years of sitting on my ass, but you know, I have a bad back from way before. I was just worried about my back, is all. I did work though, I used to work in high school, don’t forget that, I mean I’m not completely lazy.I mean on the days you were at work, I would just walk up and down the strip drinking for eight hours straight so its not like I am totally lazy. I was just worried about my back. You act like I am a bad guy or something; I haven’t done anything to you. Okay yeah so when I  met you I told you my name was Kevin Johnson and clearly that isn’t my name, but that isn’t a big deal as you make it out to be. Lots of people lie for months about who they really are when they start a relationship because the world is shady, y’know? I know you don’t want me here, but could I get a soda? I mean I am already over here, you should just let me in. Please? Damn, why are you being so cold? You cold cause your grandmother ruined you. Yeah you are ruined. She told you all those stories about what to expect from a man and kept you sheltered all those years and now you don’t know how to love anybody. She turned you into a bitch cause she’s a bitch. Don’t get all mad at the truth, damn. Maybe I did tell you that I was gay just so that I could be around you back then but you kept saying that I must be since I was spending the night and we weren’t having sex, so I just played along for that year. You said you didn’t want to be with me so what could I do? I just became what you wanted so I could be around. You are lucky I was around. You would have gotten robbed or something. Its not that big of a deal that you introduced me to your family and friends as a gay dude, you clearly know I’m not one, why do you keep holding onto the past? Come here, you know we are like Bonnie and Clyde, you know you want me to move back in with you. It doesn’t matter if we used to fight all of the time and your son hates me, kids don’t tell parents what to do you need to control that shit because your son, I hate to admit it, your son is the devil. He is a fucking manipulator and I know! He is going to kill you one day, I am sure of it. Hey let me spend the night, I promise I will leave in the morning. I know that I never do whenever I say I will, but I promise I will this time, I can see in your eyes you just want to be friends. I will sleep on the couch its no problem. Fine. I won’t ask again you act like you live in a mansion or something, your place ain’t so great. But I am going to look for a job, I’m just worried about my nerves. Yeah, I’ve been drinking since 11 AM. You gonna change your tune when I win this lottery. Then you are gonna wanna be with me aren’t you? Why don’t we just get married? We can get a house in San Diego, I know that you want to retire there. It’ll be a good investment. I mean it’s not just for the house you know, its cause I love you and everything. And you’re right, you’re right, I did purposely start fights with you. I was bored. I’m always bored. I have already done everything that there is to do in this life and the only reason I don’t kill myself is because I’m too lazy. You were supposed to laugh at that. That is a joke. You sure you haven’t seen my belt? Mind if I come in and check? Its just you see I can’t stay with my mom. My family is getting on my case, they finally got me where they want me, now they constantly tell me I ain’t doing shit with my life and they want me to be corporate slaves like them and follow rules and obey laws and keep telling me I am a full grown kid. I don’t want to hear that shit, you know? I like my life, and I’m just down and out right now so they are just kicking me when I’m down. Everybody is out to get me, I swear. They are all jealous of me that I can have a nice house with a nice girl and not work, and shit. They knew I wasn’t working, but we were going on vacations remember, remember when we went to San Franscisco? The barbeque in Monterrey was so good. We should do that again. You should lighten up and relax. Everything is not a fucking movie, real life is not a fairy tale with Prince Charming. You ain’t perfect you know, you ain’t no angel. You’re getting pretty old yourself, you think anyone else is going to put up with your shitty ass, devil son?  Just let me in. Come on. What could I do? I was just raised like this. I can’t be a different way. I mean I do love you, but always have to be the center of attention all of the time walking around with your titties hanging out and shit, disrespecting me, walking two steps ahead, always wanting a hug or a kiss, and you’re right, you’re right if I was home all day I could have at least kept the house clean for you or worked, I know I should have done that stuff. I should have looked for a job, and I am going to this time, I swear. I shouldn’t have been so jealous that you wanted to hang out with your family or your friends, I wasn’t trying to stop you, I mean I broke your windshield you act like I took out the engine of the car and said, don’t go or something. I did say I’m sorry. I didn’t? Well you know what I mean. You look good. Can I just come over and fuck then? I know the rules, I can’t stay after three am. And I am sorry for just showing up over here, it’s just that you turned your phone off on me so I didn’t know how else to reach you because you said you didn’t want me just showing up at your job anymore. Come here, come here, hey, I won’t let you go, Hey, HEY! I’m still talking! Don’t slam the door in my face, Bitch! Are you there? Hey. Please open the door. I’m sorry. For real this time. I’m sorry. Let’s go out to eat, okay?”


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