I know how pathetic it is that I spend a majority of my free time thinking about you and wondering what you are doing and reminiscing about things that we have done together and stretching those memories out and adding more dialog in places where we stared off into the sunset and remember when , remember when..wishing that during those times you had confessed your undying love and then I pretend we are together now and that all of that actually happened and what our life would be like these days if you were actually right here and not just in my head and remember when, remember when…I suppose that when I do get to talk to you and my heart jumps clean out of my body that I hold back all emotions for the conversations we are bound to have for weeks and months and years from the incident in my head but the part that gets so crazy is I forget after a while the lines are blurred after a while and I’m not sure if what I remember is what actually happened or was the story I made up about how much I  missed you and loved you and couldn’t wait to be near you did  you really ever hear any of those words or did I only say them in the comfort of my own mind and remember when, remember when…I should probably be working on something worthwhile and useful like cultivating some damn self esteem but I’d much rather pretend I heard you say one time that I was awesome, thoughtful and beautiful because that means more to me than you will ever know because if no one else ever does and if you one day forget I will always remember when, remember when… you loved me right back.

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