Foxed

I just know sooner or later
at some fucking point
in our time streams, Romeo
You and me, Juliet, will be together
Even for a second
at darkest night
I will feel the realness in your affection
a reflection of my own
that none, not even god, nor any man
may disavow
I hate untruths, I hate falsehood
I abhor weakness
Because they are in me
I am weak, a liar, foolish
A girl
And my man lives with the perfect woman
in every way but sexually…
In that way she is not me
He would have been happy with her had I not turned up
and opened my mouth
I’m sad. I’ve conformed.
I’m them.
No good.
There is no peace wherever I go.
My shadows are deep.
He says he loves me from miles away
But my own man, stresses over losing me daily
But has no words to say…
So I believe alcohol, and morning
I believe in pain and presence.
I manipulate words so I cannot believe them.
What’s okay is erasure.
Take my mind and memories away
I try starting again but how can I when the reflection
of who I am now
stares me frankly in the face?

Perhaps our second has past in the past when it past and I wont let it simply pass….