BDAY OPINION FACTORY

It’s almost my birthday on the west coast and I am preparing myself by having a few drinks and contemplating. So I thought I’d share my random thoughts with my friends here and on my blog. Being young was fun. No, it was. But it was only 45% fun. The rest of the time you are insecure about how you look and what people think and constantly stressed you do not fit in, you are too goofy or you are not good enough. Getting just a shade older takes a toll on your physique but your mind get’s so sharp. I know so many people who didn’t make it to 38 and that seems like a small amount but actually it’s nothing to sneeze at. So here is my list of the things I can’t stand now that I am brave enough, confident enough and old enough to say so:
10.) People who borrow with no intention of paying back. Just ask me for it fool. If you say, Can I have, I wont expect it returned. If you say, can I borrow, I think I’ma get my shit back. Don’t be so shady.
9.)People who are racist. Seriously, you are the most ignorant humans in existence and If wasn’t afraid of jail or psychological ramifications or hell I would find a means to kill all of you. We are all the same race, human, you stupid, juvenile TURD. Why do you exist? Why weren’t you aborted? I kinda hate you, alot.
8.People who maliciously lie. Look we all lie. You ain’t 125 pounds. Yo hair aint 18 inches long. These are victimless lies. Its not a big deal. But people who maliciously come up with stories to confuse, hurt, belittle or manipulate other people deserve the karma that is coming to them. And oh boo, it’s coming.
7.) People who call me a snob. This is the stupidest shit ever. First of all, if you knew me you would know I am a pretty crazy funny laid back chick. I try my best to keep my judgments in check and I will befriend and help anyone. If somehow the fact that I can read and balance a check book makes you feel inferior this is not my concern. I could care less what other people think about me and it is none of my business. Just know when you approach me with it, I’m smiling because I am polite but in my head I am thinking hell could use a person like you.
6.) Physicality bashers. Ooh so you are 125 and 5’10 girl. My bad. Good for you. So why do you look negatively upon me, or other bigger people, or other browner people? What do you get from it? Does it pay your mortgage, your hating? So what he is a midget and she is fat and ol boy has 5 toes. Yeah make your jokes but make sure its because the shit is funny and not because you are trying to hurt someone else to cover up your own insecurities, creep.
5.) I can’t stand drug boohooers. FOR REAL? You mad at Jim cause he is on heroin? yeah, its not cool he stole your TV but if you mad at drugs you fake and ignorant. You think those aspirins are cool? How about those antibiotics? How about those valium you buttface? Nothing is wrong with weed, its a plant, get a life. And if people are doing drugs and they are functional, so what? you are a damn alcoholic nicotine addict and you know it. Oh, you don’t do any drugs and just eat veggies? Well so did HITLER.
4) I am not fond of materialists. Ooh, you got a 5 bedroom house so now you better? Ooh your shoes cost 300 so youre better? Ooh, your hair and nails and liposuction and tee shirts cost thousands? Well as Macklemore said, you got pimped by a company, idiot. Your house is nice, enjoy it. But it doesn’t make you. Chips are chips, Its not real. Who are you without it is what matters.
3.) Religious whackjobs. Nothing wrong with loving ( INSERT GOD HERE) if it helps you, keeps you sane, gives you perspective and joy. But if you are forcing it on someone else you are fake. If you are claiming it but do not really follow it you are fake. If you are judging people’s size, bank accounts, race or gender because of it, you are not only fake but a maniac.
2.)MYSOGYNISTS, RAPISTS, PEDOPHILES. I don’t care. I will never care about your reasons or excuses. you are voluntarily hurting someone who is not getting to state their case, or make a choice or be heard or seen. YOU ARE A LOSER. YOU DESERVE ANY PUNISHMENT THAT YOU RECEIVE. Psychos.
1. Porn addicts. Nothing wrong in my opinion using porn to aid in your lovemaking. But if you get so sick that you prefer to watch actors than actually acting you need medical attention. ASAP.
I feel better. Happy Early BDAY to me.