Random fact: I’ma take Mr. Frogsworth out deep into the Mojave desert, at night, make ’em beat off while I dig a six foot hole naked, climb in that dusty coffin with him to hide from coyotes, fuck his brains out and while he’s nutsleep, climb out and bury his ass alive. Rest in Peace, Froggy.‪

Random Fact: I’m getting a Mr. Carter tramp stamp this weekend and I’ma fly to Nebraska on a red eye, summon his ass to the downtown county lock up, fuck ’em like he stole sumpthin in the interrogation room, take some DNA off ’em and save it in the freezer, handcuff his ass to the sheriff’s desk, thaw that DNA out, have his clone, raise it for 18 years, then fuck the shit out of it too.

Random Fact: I’ma catch Mr. Drandson at the train station one night in July (probably the 4th) after work and after we hug, he’s gone catch a handkerchief full of chloroform and Ima simply drag his limp body into an alley, chain him to a dumpster, fuck him ’til he wakes back up, twerk upside down off the building wall on his face and while he can’t breathe cut his heart straight out of his chest, pull on my strap on dick while it starts raining, and use it to fuck the hole I make in his chest, then Ima leave his carcass there for the vultures, move into his house, wear all his clothes like Norman Bates, then show up at the Ball while all the thirsties is gunnin’ for him covered in his blood, with his heart in my hand and ask all ya’ll muphuckas “what, looking for this?” And laugh.

Random Fact: I’ma call Mr. Kennedy tonight on his house phone pretending to be his co worker and explain there is an impromptu business meeting he has to attend. The flight is all booked, be at the airport in six hours, you don’t need a bag. When he checks in he is gonna see the ticket is to Fiji, paid for by me and his dick is gonna be hard as diamonds the whole flight. When he shows up at our hotel, were gonna skip check in because Ima have a boat at the island dock ready to go to a more secluded beach. While his big arms row us there Ima drink all his travel cum and wear as much as I can of it on my face and throat and when he gets off the dingy Ima burn it to the ground and he is gonna scream were stuck here, bitch and Ima suplex his ass and fuck em with bananas everyday for three years and when he gets that castaway feeling finally and tries to escape in the middle of the night, Ima strangle him with our hammock, decapitate him and drink coconut milk out of his head til I die, crying from loneliness. I miss you already, Mr. Kennedy.