Expiation

Before yet another year
Yet another day
Yet another dawn
Before I can grow
and move on
I have to take one last look
At where I’ve fucked up
Take a glance at the wrong I’ve done
So in another day
Another dawn
Some good can come

I’m not sorry about what I’ve learned
I’m still testing the truth
So for everyone who has claimed to love me once
I am thankful for you

I haven’t listened, I’ve merely heard
I’ve been greedy at times and absurd
I’ve been selfish and moody
I’ve given up my power
I’ve had issues with my own esteem
I’ve been weak and a coward
I’ve told lies and padded feelings
With poetry and episodes from TV
I’ve stolen and I’ve broken
And I’ve blamed you, instead of me
I’m no yogi, I’m no wizard
I am battle tested and bruised
I am choicy and unforgiving
I’ve been relentless and I have used
Some of my mistakes have hurt others
Some of my stories made you blue
I haven’t seen, I’ve merely watched
I can’t swim, I only talk
I’ve been jealous and obnoxious
And to atone I want to be
someone new, someone worthy
I want to shed my own cloak of desperation
Make amends to myself so I can be
Alive and an inspiration
to other monsters like me….

I’m not sorry about what I’ve experienced
I’m still hypothesizing about what I should do
So for everyone who has claimed to care for me once
I am grateful for you

Before yet another year
Yet another day
Yet another dawn
Before I can grow
and move on
I have to take one last look
At where I’ve fucked up
Take a glance at the wrong I’ve done
So in another day
Another dawn
Some good can come

 

049

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