Qui Vive or The Finale

When I hover over myself like a chat bubble
In my last text message
Suspended

Miss me when I’m gone… It’s all I truly want…

You love her you live with her you care for her you fuck her
But you only confide to me-
You want her you feed her you spend all of your time with her
But you only fantasize about me-

Come here star, you say
Knowing the astron is dead
Come here sweetheart, you bellow
Knowing I only hear it in my head

I should have known it when you
scrunched your nose up at blue and yellow
but your favorite color is green-
I should have known it when you
told me all her flaws and wrongs
but left me alone to fiend-

Miss me when I’m gone…please do for me this one thing…

And here we are and there you go
Poking the bear and laughing
Teasing the snake by kicking
Putting your head in the alligator’s mouth
just to see if it feels like eating

Miss me when I’m gone… as penance for your wrongs…

What I have to say should be simple
What I want to explain feels easy
But I can’t find words, I can’t leave it alone
How do I justify what you do without destroying me?

Please miss me, please miss me, miss me won’t you?
Miss me and hate it and hurt and be broken its all I ask you to do…

Because when I hover over myself like a chat bubble
In my final text message
Untended
I know I must delete the threads
proving my love affair has ended

Miss me when I’m gone… until you feel withdrawn-

No more calling me and whining to me and challenging me and needing me
But you only sleep with her.
Stop being fond of me and devoted to me and captivated by me
But you only say I love you to her.

I know you will miss me when I’m gone
You’ll regret losing this bond…
Because who else will be your pawn?
Who else will you practice on?

What I have to say is beyond simple
What I want to explain is freeing
I can’t find love dripping from stone
How do I justify not leaving?

I’m gone.

2016-03-04_13.26.00[1]

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