Kisses on Scratches

By the way…
If I didn’t think that you were good enough we wouldn’t be dating at all.
Your actions toward me prove what you would do and actions seldom lie. I’m not trying to…
But my gnawing anxiety tells the truth as well.
Unless…
When I can find it, I will choose peace over chaos because yes I have seen every manner of lying, back handed, no good snake in the world.
It’s great that you have lived a sheltered enough life to not have experienced human beings and the extent of what they are capable; but who is stronger, a person who has survived an attack or a person who has never been attacked? Who has a better idea of how to get over a wall, a mountain climber or ballad singer?
One is likely while the other is just possible.
Unless…
I feel like what you want from me is impossible.
I’m not trying to break your heart…
Unless…
I’m not perfect nor the wisest but I’m smart enough to see that feelings are just that, feelings and feelings pass.
Your feelings and my feelings will both fade into nothingness.
But my gnawing anxiety won’t seem to fade.
Unless…
I’m smart enough and have enough experience to know that as great as love is it doesn’t pay the light bill and it can’t cure herpes.
Unless…
Living in the clouds is wonderful for young people and teenagers but it’s not smart for adults in their late 30’s and early 40’s. Compatibility is key now, sex is just dessert and being upfront about what you are getting into and how much you can handle is not only responsible but respectful and realistic.
It’s not cute, just real.
I’m not trying to break your heart but I know that is what I am doing…
Unless…
It’s not even really about waiting for a certain thing to happen first,  it’s about knowing that the final destination of the journey is where you want to end up whether that catalyst happens or not.
Unless…
You’re good enough, believe me.
I’m not trying…
But my gnawing anxiety tells the truth as well.
Your actions are right up there with a love story.
I’m not trying to break your heart…
My gnawing anxiety won’t seem to fade.
…but I know that is what I am doing…
It’s not cute, just real.
Your feelings and my feelings will both fade into nothingness.
But I’m smart enough to trust my gut’s anxiety
and I’m doing my best to walk away…

Unless you say…stay.

10-14-2016-5-12-11-pm

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