The Give and Take Formula

But there is no one last time with you.
You’re vodka and I am afflicted with disease.
I accept that all you need
from me
is a good time,
Anytime you are alone at night
wondering if you can still feel anything at all.
But we both know that I’m doing the right thing, vodka.
Its over for me if I have one more drink.
It’s so much better this way, if I stay away
And pour the rest of you down the sink
No one needs a fantasy to survive
But I am no one and apparently I do
So instead of doing what you want me to
I’m going to simply hang on to the memory of how I feel
with you on my lips
It’s like leaving a casino in Vegas with a hundred dollar gambling chip
that you never cashed out
So you still win, because maybe someday you can play again
If the wounds from now and then
Ever heal. I’ve decided to detox, Vodka.
I just want to pretend to be normal for a while.
I want to pretend that I don’t miss that half smirk smile
I mean nothing to you and I understand that now
I accept that all you need
from me
is a good time.
I mean,  I guess if I fuck this up
and he doesn’t want a damaged girl like me
And I’m thirsty and there is nothing else to drink
and I just give up on the idea of being loved entirely
and I settle on manic and mostly lonely, then yes,
there is a chance for me and you…
I’ll never truly get away from booze
Everyone knows that I am addicted to you
So until I have nothing left to lose
Or I decide to destroy myself again
With a filthy game playing ferocious young man
You will be the first sip of sickness that I use
to end it all….




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