Sex Theatre

I look through him until I can see you
I touch his (your) his (your) his hand
and whisper words to his face that I practiced in the mirror
to say to you if you would ever give me the chance
and then with only a tiny bit of fleeting remorse
since I’m beyond lost in an recurring alcoholic stupor
I lay next to him and pretend I’m close to you
I kiss his (your) his (your) his wet mouth
and promise that he can do anything that he wants
to my body with the lights off so that I can imagine uninterrupted
and when I wake up and see his shoes under the bed
I despise you (him) you (him) so much…