Chub Rub

Three years ago you promised that you’d love me forever
But I loved a boy back home then so I said never
Some girls get diamonds and fancy things
But I get liars and pork and beans
Two years ago you asked me to be your wife
But I told you the deal breakers were infused in your life
One year ago you’d cry whenever we weren’t together
But I told you on the phone and to your face that we should sever
Six months ago you wanted to make sex videos by candlelight
But I told you if we did we needed to invite the new guy I like
Some girls get Range Rovers and expensive toys
But I get manipulators and ice fishing decoys
Two months ago according to you noone could love me better
But I told you to keep the memories, and the swords and the sweaters
Two weeks ago you vowed to do what I said without much of a fight
But you tried to slash my guy friend’s tires in the middle of the night
And now you say three years ago I was always drunk
(All this because the boy I like has me in a terrible funk)
And apparently two years ago I didn’t love myself and nothing was enough
But when I told you that I loved him you weren’t ready to give up
And now last year you claim I was broken and you tried to tolerate my junk
But you gave me head in my bed recently and I couldn’t even nut
And now you say a few months ago I was nothing but a slut
Yet you wanted to be just like me except you couldn’t find anyone to fuck
Some girls get devotion and trustworthy kings
But I just don’t believe those girls are even human beings..
And 48 hours ago somehow you’re convinced you’re superior to me
Why don’t you pick a plot line and stick to the fucking story?
Go if you love me, go if you hate me, either way, Duckie, just leave…
As far as I’m concerned I was done with your ass in Two Thousand and Fourteen…………………………………………………………..


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