Thinking of him while listening to Tool W/U

Fear.
Wanton abandon lives right outside of this lyric but fear…
Fear wears me, it buys me early in the morning from the neighborhood thrift store and tastes me against it’s formlessness
Fear pretends that it cares, asks me how my day was because fear tries to test my strength and I can’t resist this fear.
Fear likes me. The most. I think.
Fear wants to get to know me specifically, individually, literally, totally infinitely but every single time that fear responds to a text, I can’t help but light up and without a pause type the same stupid, vapid smiley face emoji
And that’s how I know
Since I was the one that sent the first message
that’s how I know
I brought this on myself
wanton abandon lives under my fingernails and
like god and your love and compassion baby, fear…
this fear, is not even real…
and that’s why, it can have me…

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