Barbie’s Dreamhouse

I will never understand you, Ken.
Why does that please and destroy me?
The notorious “they” say in the old famous adage that you should set free the things that you love. They never mention how difficult and brutal that undertaking is. They never suggest not trapping it in the first place either.
So here we are again, nowhere, just like we were before-
What could I do, what can I do, you drive me crazy
Its an affliction of the worst possible kind. I want to stay away from you but I can’t. I’m utterly doomed and I understand.
You just taste too fucking good, Ken.
So here we are again, no one has moved, I’m still hung up over you.
I will never set you free, that’s probably fucked up of me but nothing makes me feel better in the entire world besides your mouth.
You’re the only thing that I cannot have and therefore, the only thing that I truly want. I’m despicable and deserve whatever hell I get for this.
My life is worth one more kiss from you, Ken.
So here we are again, wasting time, losing our minds for no reason.
I’d love to see you right now, for nothing other than to swallow you and suck you and drag you across the fucking floor by your hair and bite you and drink your cum and lock you in my apartment while I am away, naked and bound and gagged.
But I’d never suggest it baby, never.
So here we are again miles apart and aching for something new to lose.
I will say goodbye to you all the times that I want to.
Yet I always want you to message me later regardless of what dumb shit I might do.
If you ever try to leave me alone, just know, I will not hesitate to come track your fucking ass down.
It’s really bad now, Ken.
Because every time I have you, I cry. When humans hunt humans its just catch and release- its just a tease, it’s not like I can mount your fucking head on a wall. I really don’t want to win at all- I’m just cheating chess all by myself.
So here we are again playing this game with no winners and no rules.
You’re always on my mind. There’s never enough time.
I wait for you every second of every day behind everyone’s eyes and during the times when you know that I am otherwise occupied only these thoughts tickle my fancy. The madness is infectious. I can only dismiss you for evenings but never for too long, the pull of you is too strong, something is obviously wrong, or completely and totally right.
I know that you think that you don’t love me, Ken.
I know, I know, I know, I can’t cope, I know, but I won’t be stopped though.
So here we are again- nowhere, just like we were before, hung up, wasting time, losing our minds, playing this game, drowning the shame, enjoying the pain, using each other up until something you think is more real than this comes along…
I want you to know that I hope that it never does, Ken.
I’d rather drink your blood.

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