Empty Tub of Vick’s VapoRub

Met a guerrilla playboy 27 years ago
when all that I wanted was to be free
Of the religion and rules that I was raised on
and he ended up taking advantage of me
Why do you like him my grandma asked
He hasn’t even gone to school!
I had no answer that I could think of faster than
Grandma I guess I’m his fool…
Met a metro-sexual 23 years ago
when all I wanted was someone to see
that I was more than just a nerdy girl in the world
with nappy hair and ugly bucked teeth
Why do you like him my sister asked
He doesn’t like you and he seems kinda gay!
I had no answer that I could think of faster than
Sis, at least he lets me have my way…
Met a fetishist 15 years ago
when I wanted a man who was sane
but he was much more interested in the tone my skin came in
than anything profound I tried saying
Why do you like him my best friend asked
He has a wife and a fiancee?
I had no answer that I could think of faster than
Friend, a muse is a goddess they say!
Met an anarchist 13 years ago
Right after giving up on life
He told me his theories and destroyed my memories
of ever having true love without violent strife
Why do you like him my own son asked
He calls you stupid and makes fun of you all day?
I had no answer that I could think of faster than
You’re right baby, let’s plan our escape!
Met a romantic bumpkin 3 years ago
And I thought I had finally found the one
But he was just using a romantic playbook to manipulate me
Into taking care of his two daughters and young son
Why do you like him my fraternity brother asked
He’s a user and a loser and desperate too!
I had no answer that I could think of faster than
Maybe I like a milk covered sycophant, don’t you?
Met a young narcissist a year ago
When all I wanted was a good time after hours
But he couldn’t see past his own reflection
and used me to reinvigorate his powers
Why do you like him asked everyone
He just wants a sugar momma to play his fool
I had no answer that I could think of faster than
He’s Abercrombie arm candy what’s an old bitch to do?
Met myself just a day ago
Full of rage and a little disheartened too
Because I now know for a fact that every one that you ever meet
Is just a shadowy inverse reflection of you
I can blame my losses in love on each and every one
of these malignant meat puppet ape kin
Or I can accept that I’m the fucked up one
Who temporarily found her worth in the worthlessness of
the most colloquial scabs of modernized men

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