Caca del Toro

This is where the scammers made their first mistake…
They called and left a message-
Call us back regarding a legal matter, immediately.
I called and got the busteroni who left the message.
He said, what’s your account number and I told him that I didn’t have one.
Then he said what number did you receive a message on?
This is where the scammers made their second mistake.
I told them my new cell number and then he referred me to a manager.
She jumps on in a nasty ass huff.
We’re a third party collecting on a debt. you owe $7500 on a Nissan from 2006. How would you like to take care of this today?
I didn’t have this cell phone number in 2006. I lived in California then.
I said, no collections disclosure huh? Yeah, actually that car was sold so you’ve got a mistake in your records, have a good day.
This is where the scammers made their third mistake.
Ma’am we don’t verify the account we just pick up the charge from the lender. You clearly owe $7500 on the 2006 Nissan. Will you be paying with a credit card?
I said, listen lady. That car was paid off and sold. I don’t owe shit. The title was in my name when it was sold.
She said ma’am that’s not what we have here so you need to make a payment today…
I said was the lien under XYZ bank? ( I knew that it wasn’t)
She said, yes that’s right…
I said, what’s your name again?
She said Ms McCoy ( like I haven’t watched Law and Order my whole adult life…)
I said for the Spectra, right?
She said, exactly, that’s it,  yes! So MasterCard or Visa? ( But I know Nissan doesn’t make a Spectra, Kia does.)
I said, BITCH, any car that I owned before the one that I own right now I owned outright and have pay off letters and receipts for all transactions! Would you like me to fax them over to you?
She said, you’re going to have to do that today or get an attorney. you might have thought that you had a paid off title when you got your registration but it was probably still owned by the bank.
I said, wrong BITCH, wrong.
She said, Hey, now you listen, I know that’s true, I used to do registrations for the BMV in NY so you owe this $7500!
I said I know for a fact that only takes place in owner holding states, like NY. In Lender holding states, you do not get a car title with lien holder information removed unless the vehicle is PAID OFF. I’ve only lived in Lender holding states for the past two decades, FOOL. ( Apparently, they didn’t know that I train title clerks for a living…..)
This is where the scammers made their fourth mistake.
She said, well fax your proof to us then because this lawsuit is about to take place, Ma’am! You’re running out of time!
She gave me the fax number and I punched it up on google.
Known Scammer fax line. Apparently these sleazy creeps like to call unsuspecting old people and pressure them out of cash and then keep making withdrawals from their accounts.
I told her, this is a damn scammer line, huh?! Are you guys fucking scammers? Do you rob people blind you internet hussie is that it?
She said, STAY OFF LINE, that doesn’t relate to this ma’am, just give me your attorney’s information and we will just handle this with them.
I said FUCK YOU. I’m not giving you shit, You ought to be ashamed of yourselves, and if you use any of my personal information or call me again, Ms Jackie McCoy, you’ll be the ones with a lawsuit on your hands!
Then I hung up.
I got a beer and called the number back.
The original message leaver answered. Must be a tiny fake office.
I said may I speak to Ms. McCoy?
He transferred me to her.
As soon as she answered I started reading from the FDCPA guidelines- loudly, with lots of curse words interjected.
The Fair Debt Collection Practices Act (FDCPA),  prohibits debt collectors from using abusive, unfair, or deceptive practices to collect from you.
She said, why did you call back here if your debt was resolved? This is crazy!
Then she hung up on me.
I got another beer.
I called back, and got transferred to her again.
I said McCoy, old girl, you guys are terrible scammers. If you were supposed to be making money from me you would not hang up on me. That’s just silly. Send me the paperwork for this fake ass debt to my address right fucking now!
I don’t have to do anything you say, she said, nearly screeching, I don’t work for you!
I said, hold on. I pulled up Twisted Sister’s, “We’re not going to take it” and started playing it for her and singing it loudly into my phone.
She said, stop calling here, this is ridiculous! Just stop it!
I sang louder.
She hung up.
I called her back like 5 times and played the song and laughed and laughed and laughed.

I told you this story because I want you to understand-
That if I would do something this petty and childish to a card scammer-
If I actually know you, you’re better off in the long run, of thinking of something else to do with your free time, besides trying to fuck me over….

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