Christmas Eve 2017

I didn’t want to use what I normally do
because I didn’t want to see anyone I already knew
so I downloaded an app and I found you
I added some cute pictures of right angles and said
I’m looking to make a brand new friend
I swiped and I waited, it was only for play
Then you sent me a message saying nothing more than hey
And I went to your profile just to see
if you were even remotely close to me
And the app said that you lived 7 miles away
So I thought based off your pics this is his lucky day
I had no intention, to even ever meet you
I just needed reassurance I was still cute
But as soon as I responded you said could you come through
And I had nothing else better to do
But some cooking I hadn’t finished, which I’d get to
I knew love wasn’t what either of us would choose
I was hoping I could get a least a blunt or a 2018 muse
You brought a bottle and I’m honestly afraid
I was in love for a few hours with your long ass braids
I was in love with your jaw line, strong and sharp
I was in love with your skin tone, even and dark
We listened to music and drank and we laughed
We talked about travel and spaghetti and math
Then when we were both high enough you reached in for a kiss
And I was surprised by the softness of your thick wet lips
You wrestled your hand underneath my shirt
And I pretended my heart didn’t still hurt
And I pretended like the monster never said sorry
And I pretended that he wasn’t still the man that I wanted
And I hoped while you were there he might call
Or show up at the window or loved me at all
And I let you have what you came here and started
And you licked parts of my body I had forgotten
It wasn’t like my fragile heart wasn’t still guarded
I’m just glad that you brought your hardest
For a while I was hovering over the outside of me
Watching you, like you in his place meant something
Waiting for my stupid fucking phone to ring
Hoping he would just call and say he was coming
When I climaxed I sent you happily away
Biggest smile in the Midwest on your greasy ass face
And I finished up my cooking for the holiday
Forgetting about him for a moment, like I had prayed
Yet my sadness has not minimized though I deserved that treat
Thankful for the internet wise men that travel in snow to eat
Strangers in need, yeah, friendly strangers like me…

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