Try not to panic.
Stay calm. All of the best decisions are made while calm.
Even if things don’t go according to plan, when you make a calm decision, either way you will learn/grow from it.
Typically, what has worked for me, is when I have a big decision to make about something, I make a pros/cons list. I know that it sounds super corny, but it really does help you think about all of the little things that are impacted by your choice. The other thing about the list, is if you forget later why you did something, you can always refer back to what your calm, logical mind has decided to do.
You don’t have to share your pros/cons list with anyone, that way you can be 100% honest when you write it. But the most important thing about making the list is to ACTUALLY make a decision and then STICK with that decision to see what happens, and what the next step afterward will be.
Another chance then opens up to calm down and think about things rationally.
So, let’s say you had to make a pros/cons list on staying in Ohio or moving to CA.
I have some ideas on what you might think about both, but only you know what the real deal is. The big deal about being an adult is no one else can do it for you. No one else can make your decisions for you from now on until you leave this earth. Whatever goes right, and whatever goes not so right, falls squarely on your shoulders and it is a LOT of pressure.
That’s why you make the list when you are calm. After a shower, or when you are relaxed is the best time.
If I was going to write a list, All of the CONs would be on the ‘living with mom’ column, but that’s how I’m wired. Not that you don’t love me at all but there are some practical things to consider.
Living with Mom means you still have to listen to her crappy music, smell her god-awful cigarette smoke, have to find a new job in a new place that is really expensive and everybody drives and you can’t have sex in the house unless you’re paying rent while her cabana boys run in and out whenever she feels like it and you’ve got ZERO friends there. BUMP THAT, that sucks! The only good things that I can see about ‘living with mom’ is building up savings to get a nice place and nice stuff, mom’s right there if there is an emergency, California has bomb weather for the most part but that’s about it.
You make your own lists though.
And consider that if you stay here, you have to have rent money, lyft/bus/bike maintenance money since you don’t want to drive, food money, internet money, renter’s insurance for your apartment money, cell phone money, light bill money, entertainment money etc. Plus, you have to get yourself to the laundromat, to events with your friends and to the grocery, to the voting booth, and if there’s a problem to the doctor…like a real grown up. 😊
There’s nothing to worry about. If other people can do it, you can do it. You just have to not be super lazy about it. One thing I know about lazy people that have perfected the art is that they try to find the easiest way to do things which can really work to your advantage. So calmly make your list, decide, stick to it and make it work!
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