Taking Stock

They lined up, single file in my mind
From most recent to the oldest,
waiting patiently for their turn
to speak when asked to describe
being with me.
The monster would say
She’s a little crazy, a little gullible but useful.
He never loved me though…
Old Faithful would say
She has no capacity for real love and only seeks some
if she is feeling lonely or bad about herself.
He only pretended to love me so…
But who should I believe?
The Guru would say
She’s brilliant and quite talented and high strung
and self sufficient and I am a big fan of hers as long as it can be from afar.
He only pretended that he loved me so…
The Man from Moreno Valley would say
She’s manipulative, has low self esteem and smells funny even after a shower.
He never loved me though…
But who should I agree with?
The men I have met over the years that I only spent time with between the hours of midnight and 4 am would say she is the most fun person that they ever met.
The men I have met over the years that wanted to spend time but I refused their advances would say she is a completely stuck up snobby uppity bitch for someone who isn’t even that pretty.
But who is telling the truth?
The Attorney would say
She’s a sexy horny smart ass loon.
He only pretended there was love available so…
The City would say
She was cool since she did everything that I could ever have wanted her to.
He never loved me though…
But would they lie to me in my own mind?
My ex husband would say
She looks like the wifey type but she’s not.
He never loved me though…
My son’s father, Kane, would say
I never liked her in the first place.
He put on the best show so…
Who should I agree with? Who is telling the truth?
The only consistent element is their points of view
Who is lying to me, and who is completely right?
The only over lap is my stain on their lives…
As they all walk away. still in their line
From who mattered the most to who mattered the least
Enveloped into the darkness behind my eyes
Possibly I am all those things, they knew me the best
Possibly I am none of those things since I don’t really know me yet…

 

 

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