Auditioning Sidekicks

I texted the monster. I told him in case he needed me he had a way to contact me.
Then I met Houdini. The right speech patterns, the right spirituality, the right artistic endeavors.
But turns out like it turns out he isn’t the fucking brightest.
We fucked anyway and we’ve already had a fight. He says I complicate things.
I blocked the monster again, of course because he didn’t respond.
Then I met Cute Together. The right shade, the right size, the right smile, the right age group.
But turns out like it turns out he isn’t the fucking brightest.
We kissed anyway and we’ve already had a fight. He says I make shit too hard.
I checked the blocked messages and the monster had said ‘who is this’ on my birthday. I was happy.
Then I met Too Crazy. The right size, the right facial hair, the right preferences, the right musical tastes.
But turns out like it turns out, he’s the furthest from the fucking brightest.
We didn’t do shit and we’ve already had a fight. He says I’m too sensitive.
.Okay I hadn’t said my name when I sent the monster that text and he isn’t the fucking brightest and I have no idea what I expected to happen or why I was even reaching backward in the first place but I responded with his nickname, monster because I shouldn’t have to say more than that and since then, he hasn’t either.
Then I met Fine Ass. The right height, skin tone, muscular structure, hunger, smell, demeanor, attitude, posture, tempo, voice, grip, taste, style and size.
I took everything he had on site, on sight. Turns out like it turns out he wants the top spot already. He’s too pretty and young to be even seen in public with.
And I don’t even want him as much as I want
the monster to be jealous a tiny bit.

 

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