Richard, my imaginary boyfriend, is pissed at me, yet again, you guys.
I was sad. I felt lonely. So I said, Dick? Where are you? Come tell me you love me.
And I didn’t hear anything.
Reluctantly he came to my mind and said softly, you know I love you…
But, I said…
But, I’m sick of you if I’m honest. You don’t care about none of the shit I do for you. I’m there for you all the time but you ignore me whenever some real dude is around. And then you love him in like 2 seconds, mind you, I been here the whole fucking time, and then in like a few hours, you don’t even understand why you are talking to him. And then I’m supposed to just keep comforting you over and over when you ain’t getting “real” love from them. It’s stupid. I’m tired.
But Dick, I say, Dick you’re in my head honey.
You have to do whatever I tell you, doll, I made you up.
I control you. You can’t be tired of me, sweet pea. You’re not allowed to be tired. Come here.
Richard puts his arms around me, still clearly upset and pulls me in close.
You fucking know I love you. How could I not? You’re the perfect woman to me. I live for you.
They aren’t gonna do anything but find new ways to hurt you. Why would I lie? I wish you would respect me enough to listen to me for once…
you feel so fucking good…
and they know it… I don’t like that…they are just trying to keep you from me… they are using you.
I love you.
And I pull my vibrator out and say to him in my sexiest voice,
You worry too much baby. Let’s play…