I wanna go to the casino
I wanna go to the art museum
I want to go to a fancy luxury theater
I want to take pictures of my experiences to share with the world on social media so that they think I’ve been happy at some point and that I’ve done fun and important things
but more than any of this I wanna write
I wanna get drunk and high and shower myself and then I want to be alone with my thoughts of you and hide where I can’t be destroyed until I start peeling the skin off of me for the fantasy of you to eat
what makes me happiest is scribbling it down in the margins of anything I can get my hands on
taking a photo of me for you to gnaw on
and sharing the bits of you I keep
for the world to see and for you to read
and somebody in the distant future might feel me from here
I am the casino
I am your art museum
just a snap in a blog on a winter day for no other reason besides the fact that I can
in my own mental home theater spitting out kisses
so somebody that I care about knows
that I was actually here
right here
purposely out of anyone’s reach…
especially you
once