The fucking Phi effect

I don’t think I’ve ever been more disappointed in a human besides myself for decades now
but I knew this so why am I tripping
possibly because I’m still mostly mad at me
I know the quickest and most effective way to lose someone

is to give a fuck

And yet I guess I randomly chose once again to love an unlovable man
Sometimes I think I’ll never learn.
You keep telling me constantly that I don’t mean anything to you
andwhyIwouldchoosetoignoreyoursignals
and excuses and blank faces and abuses
can only be chalked up to insanity.
Some shit I’m just used to…
Crazy people do crazy things.
but I knew this so why am I tripping…
This time I won’t forget I promise.
I’m proud of us both in a sad way because you finally got up the nerve to say

fuck off.
Nobody to be mad at but me
You finally got up the nerve to refuse to be accommodating
but I think deep down you saw that it hurt
and you knew one day you’d want all this love and you’d be willing to give everything up
and you didn’t want to be the me in that situation that sits before you now
essentially begging and knowing that it won’t change our destiny
You can’t trick the fates
You can’t disrespect the muses
And you certainly won’t walk away from what the goddess of fortune might send you
as a joke like she did when she sent you me
And me you
Don’t worry I always knew what was up
You don’t owe me anything ,I know, I know
still shady though

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