The Optical Illusion of Joan Crawford by the Pool

When I’m near you I put on a clown face to keep you entertained.
But when I am with you I say shit like, ” I hate that you prefer being denied so fucking much that you’d refuse life upgrades but I mean if it makes you happy honey, I guess.”
Then when I am with you I worry about every tiny little microscopic thing that could damage you in any way.
But with you I let my guard down and let you pull my hair whenever your lips caress mine.
So with you then I lose my shit when you try to criticize me knowing full well that you never deserved me.
And when I’m near you I listen to you tell me bullshit about why you allow yourself to remain dumb and blind.
But when I am with you I say shit like, ” I don’t particularly care for people playing with my things and when yet another worthless person uses you like a wet mop for their sexual edification, I’ll still hold out hope for you, honey.”
Then when I am with you I put away as much money as I can in case you ever need something in an emergency.
But with you I let you hold my throat and lift me up and grab my ass for any and every kiss.
So with you then I do my level best and when you try to check me which you eventually will I pull out receipts in triplicate with notary seals.
And when I’m near you I follow your lead because you don’t care about me enough to know what I would prefer.
But when I am with you I say shit like, ” I don’t feel differently about you because you are dumb as fuck at all.”
Then when I am with you I check on your wellbeing then recheck and check again often and regularly automatically.
But with you I just want to feel your big hands gliding across my skin like you are a blind man hoping to see me for the first time with your touches.
So with you then I document every interaction with a time and date stamp regardless of what it regards.
But I don’t know who I’d be if you were all ever in the same fucking room with me at the same fucking time…
The seemingly undiscovered truth would seep through I’m sure.
You are not all as important as I make you out to be.

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