In the trauma we trust

I’ve been moving like I’m cured lately
But
When I thought that I might lose him
I started three fights in a row
the next one only proceeding
when he conceded
the preceding battle was lost to him
so tired he was of me and I couldn’t stop because
we’ve been apart for centuries
and will again for forever more be
yet this time I knew I was healed
but somehow
I still just wanted one of his scars to be the one he called ours
and I know I’m wrong and when I thought
he’ll never really be mine or gone
I gave into me giving in yet again
so I promised his shadow I’d play along and
apologized for how heated
and stubbornly I treated
the only thing I didn’t really want to break
When he thought that he might lose me though
he wished me well
which is why I have so much fucking trouble
letting his dumb ass off the hook.

 

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