It all comes back if you’ve never let go… as we sat cuddled up and comfortable on the sofa awhile after the blazing sun set on another day and smoked light green sticky weed talking about reincarnation and what happens in our dreams and then he told me that he was relaxed and we both clinked the cups of our drinks and he put on a song that came out when I was 20 and he was 16 and surprisingly we both knew the words and we felt so connected by the suggestive nature cascading through the lyrics and the beat that in an instant he and me and time were transported back to 1995 because it all comes back if you’ve never let go… so before I knew where I was he grabbed my hand and we stood up in front of the TV, ignoring everything and danced together in the middle of the living room like we were in a smoky bar and he was doing what he wanted to do back then, and I could feel it poking through, the whole truth, he’d always wanted to be all pushed up next to some big booty brown girl giving her the business on the dance floor because it all comes back if you’ve never let go… and I was doing what I do best, teasing the fuck out of some willing pretty young thing without words just hip sways that speak for me while I’m rolling it back and forth and turning some fair skinned man into a desperate fiend full of leaking savagery that has forced them to try and conquer everything that looked and smelled like me for centuries and it all comes back if you’ve never let go and there wasn’t anyone else in the world but us, bodies moving in sync to the exact same nostalgic beat, living out in full color a 24 year old fantasy and then he played naked tag with me- a little night game body part sweaty hide and seek- and without thinking I couldn’t resist going right into the kitchen and fixing him a plate of food and watching him eat it like we had loved each other for the longest time, the post love grub from someone nurturing to someone always hungry and he was looking around my place for shit that he could put back together that might have been broken because it all comes back if you’ve never let go…and I got to be Iman and he got to be Bowie privately… so when we sobered up and came back to the present we were both embarrassed and giggling and blushing and most importantly, hopeful. Tomorrow could bring anything if yesterday brought him to me. Tomorrow could bring…anything… and neither of us can wait to see…what’s next…
Adina Howard Forever
