Leaving Eden with a Carry-on Bag

One of the best things about being “crazy” is that you can often call the end of situations before the dust settles.
I haven’t felt like a part of an actual couple in over a decade and you gave that sensation back to me.
I’m appreciative.
I want us both to be as happy as we can be and I have a feeling that eventually we will both be just that.
I will make better decisions.
You’ll be happy when you find some woman dumb enough to listen to you when you are clearly uneducated and incorrect. You’ll be happy when you can tell your partner how desperately you want to fuck everything walking but at the same time knowing that you can’t even keep your dick hard for two rounds of sex with one person in a single afternoon. You’ll be happy when your stupid ass is locked up for inciting a bar fight like you don’t have three kids at home that you are responsible for, or when you get pulled over for drunk or high driving, or when you nearly get killed in a wreck you caused because you think listening to your trap music in a broken down old school Lincoln gives you some street cred with the impoverished fish market hood rats you hope to attract since Latin women and white women avoid your backwater fake thug ass like the plague. You’ll be happy if you get to pretend it’s still 1993 and your stupid I’m an alpha male credo of ignorance plays well in the sandbox with other idiots.
Don’t feel bad that you don’t have time for me and can’t see me often blah blah blah I had a hard time going places with you when you just wanted to parade me around like a poor boy does a new pair of Jordan’s.
I knew what the issues were from day one and as a crazy person I was right about them.
The fact that you claim to have known I was crazy was the second most off putting thing about you.
You didn’t listen when I suggested places, told you what I wanted and as a matter of fact you admitted that you were a selfish piece of shit, still technically married, still living in the same house as your estranged spouse, still out in the world looking for love instead of working on the foundation you built like the classical loser you pretend not to be.
Everything worked out how it should have though…
I will make better decisions.
I was correct and this again was evidence that I should follow my instincts because they are sound! Crazy is protection! I had fun, don’t get me wrong and had we made it to today it would have been 2 months as a couple.
But clearly you can’t be in a real relationship with someone who is still in a real relationship, can you?
Clearly you can’t date someone who thinks they are a war boy from Fury Road when they are due to be 40 in less than 90 days.
Clearly you can’t date someone who thinks they should become a professional prostitute to make money, but thinks part of the job is their own pleasure when that has nothing to do with the gig at all.
Even my child, after seeing a photo of you said, he seems like he can get shit done without crying but don’t be fooled by the beard.
Hopefully you will be more honest about your problems in future scenarios, like I was honest with you about suicidal tendencies and therapy and trying to be a better version of myself.
But you do what’s best for you, kiddo.
So again, thank you.
I will make better decisions.
The fun that we did have was useful for me and testing my own theories about whether someone deserves to be in my life was helpful as well.
I’ll jump out of the passenger side of your fantasy right here, friend.
Take care of yourself and your poor kids.
Trust me, I’ll be fine and waste less time!
I will make better decisions…
especially if I get another chance at loving someone other than myself.
You won’t witness it but then again you didn’t care to anyway, did you?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.